Each year thousands of new self-help books are published around the world. One such book which has gained a huge amount of attention is titled It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, which was written by Dr. Shantell Byrd Martin.
The new self-help book could not have come at a better time. The book which is filled with tips on living a joyful life has been described as one of the most important self-help books of this year. In fact, more people than ever before are reporting they are struggling in life.
Approximately 284 million people worldwide have an anxiety disorder. According to American Psychological Association in 2020, nearly half of all U.S. adults (49%) say that stress has negatively affected their behavior. In 2022, it was reported that 84% of Americans now suffer from stress. This has been attributed to the Covid pandemic, higher cost of living, and working longer hours.
Dr. Shantell Byrd Martin uses her skills to provide readers of her book with tips and skills to help balance a life full of highs and lows. The author wants readers to take control of their lives and learn to enjoy the journey of life and not to focus on the destination. The book provides real life coping skills that work. By incorporating these coping skills and tips, readers can begin living the life they have always wanted to live.
I decided to catch up with Dr. Shantell Byrd Martin and learn more about the author and her new book It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, this is what she had to say.
Why did you decide to write the self-help book It’s Okay Not to be Okay?
One of the Universal Laws of Success is the “Law of Service” and it says:
Your rewards in life will be in direct proportion to the value of your service to others. The more you work, study, and develop your ability to contribute more to the lives and well-being of others, the better life you will have in all areas.
I felt that writing It’s Okay Not To Be Okay was my duty and act of service to mankind. All people need good coping skills to live a joyful life. It would be selfish of me not to share, what I have learned in my 2 decades of research.
Is this the first self-help book you have written?
No. I’m also the author of The Mill Plan. The Mill Plan is a step-by-step guide that will help you start a business with a small amount of money.
What is your self-help book about and why should people buy it?
It’s Okay Not to be Okay will help readers take control of their lives. The book gives proven real life coping skills and tips that work. People should buy the book because it is an easy read and a great reference tool that can be used time and time again.
It has been reported that more people are suffering from stress than ever before, why do you think that is?
A large majority of people are reporting high stress levels due to financial concerns, inflation, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the Russian invasion of Ukraine, according to a new poll from the American Psychological Association.
Your book says that it can provide people with tips and skills to help balance a life full of highs and lows, what do you mean by that?
In life, highs and lows are inevitable.Yet, in the midst of the ever-changing ups and downs of life, there is a constant source of peace and balance within each of us. It’s Okay Not To Be Okay helps people discover that place of balance.
We are told it is good to talk, but why do men have such a huge problem in sharing their emotions with others and telling people when they are struggling to cope?
Men are taught that certain aspects of their personalities are not acceptable, they are taught not to cry or express in words, how they are feeling. In school, they’re shown there are certain games they should play, activities they should take part in, and rarely are they encouraged to engage in their feelings.
Some people go through life as a success without a care in the world, while others fail and stress every day, why is that?
In most cases it is not that successful people are without stress, concerns, or problems. Most successful people have resilience and great coping skills. They are able to utilize their skills and strengths to cope and recover from life’s challenges. Therefore, you see the success and not the struggle.
How can people turn negative emotions in their life into positive emotions so they can achieve their goals and reduce the stress they go through?
A great way to turn negative emotions into positive emotions is to accept and even embrace your negative states, while also engaging in activities that can counter-balance these uncomfortable emotions in an authentic way. It’s Okay Not To Be Okay can assist readers with coping skills to reduce stress.
As a life coach you must have seen lots of people who have been passed up for promotion when they have more experience than those who have less experience, does this come down to negative emotions?
Yes, I have worked with many people that have dealt with this issue. I do not think it is a direct result of negative emotions. I think it has to do with divine timing. I have four tips that I give clients to help them navigate this issue.
Redirect Your Negative Emotions
Be Proactive and Seek Direct Feedback.
Use it as a Learning Opportunity
Figure Out Your Next Step
If someone wakes up in the morning struggling to get out of bed and is not looking forward to the day ahead, what tips would you provide them to turn those negative emotions into a plan of action?
Plan ahead the night before. Doing this makes it easier to start your day.
Be kind to yourself. Tell yourself you can do it. You can get out of bed and have a positive day.
Do some positive self-reflection. Remember a day that was great and try to create that positive feeling again.
Get your body moving. Exercise has been known to help people with stress, anxiety and depression.
Talk to someone. Try talking to a friend, family member, co-worker or seek a professional(advisor, coach, consultant, doctor or therapist.)
How important are positive vibes and good energy?
The truth is energy and vibes are contagious, good or bad. It is very important to me to surround myself with positive vibes and good energy. I know the powerful benefits they possess. Stress is one of the biggest impacts. Positive people tend to handle stress in a much better way than those who are negative. The reason for this is that positive people tend to focus more on the solutions to their problems; instead of dwelling on the issues. It’s simple to me, positive vibes + good energy = the good life.
As mentioned you are also a Life Coach, how important is it for someone who is struggling in life and failing to achieve their goals to see a Life Coach?
Working with a Life Coach actually makes getting what you want and achieving your goals easier. Enlisting the services, of a Life Coach saves you time and makes the process more enjoyable, because you’re learning so much about yourself, people and life along the way. A Life Coach, can help you find your purpose and see endless possibilities. This creates a sense of freedom. It also holds space for your growth and expansion.
When you were writing your self help book, who were you aiming it at, and who should buy the book?
It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, is ideal for a teen or an adult, having challenges dealing with the stress of life. You should purchase the book for yourself or for someone else that may need help coping with everything that life can bring.