These 3 mistakes all come from the “land of
good intentions”, but still, they wreak merciless havoc on the lives of
countless men.
I’m referring to the following:
1. The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
2. The Paradox of Thinking Too Much
3. The Paradox of the Simple Moves
1. THE PARADOX OF TRYING TOO HARD
Great sex will always be about FLOW.
One
doesn’t need to press for it, trying too hard on any area will cause
you to mess it up that’s a guarantee. The tragedy is that most men
don’t even see this one coming and end up working against themselves
the harder they try, the harder it becomes.
One of the
temptations of having too many tricks in the bag is to unleash them in
a grand overflow and put on a show. Needless to say, you’ll reek of the
‘trying too hard’ vibe. Instead of dazzling Eve, you’ll turn her off
for the vibe masks a specific
fear the fear of inadequacy, that nagging feeling of not being good enough.
You’re
afraid she won’t have a great time unless you pleasure the brains out
of her, so you feel compelled to unleash every physical technique to
compensate for a personal issue.
Like I said, this will backfire.
You
don’t need to do everything don’t be an overeager yes-man. The rookie
mistake here is trying too hard to please every woman, every time, with
the hopes of being the best she’s ever had. You’ll end up pleasing
nobody. Instead, learn to lean back and let sexual excellence come to
you.
2. THE PARADOX OF THINKING TOO MUCH
Great sex is always UNCONSCIOUS; it’s not logical or rational.
The bedroom is not the place to think, and the absolute worst time to contemplate your
insecurities,
sexual hang-ups and skills. Deal with them BEFORE your next carnal
encounter and AFTER your last one... NEVER DURING.
Calibrate...
but don’t thresh-out psychological issues in the heat of things. Self
consciousness and self-talk pull you out of the moment and into a
negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective and out of touch.
Don’t
be overly concerned with the mechanics and metrics of intercourse
like the exact pressure or angle of your hand, or the direction of your
thrusts. When it comes to the real thing -- stop thinking -- focus on
your partner and immerse in the moment.
Don’t plan every move as
if sex is a series of perfectly executed maneuvers. When you over-think
things, you’ll mess up. The best crane operators don’t analyze every
step... they just do it, the moves have become 2nd to nature.
If
you think too much, I assure you that the sex will get worse instead
of enjoying, you’ll be too busy figuring out the next best move. Just
enjoy the process, take it easy and don’t be too hard on yourself.
It
goes without saying that one doesn’t have to gun for sexual
perfection... there’s no such thing. Afford yourself some mistakes and
don’t make a big deal out of it. This is very, very important.
3. THE PARADOX OF THE SIMPLE MOVES
Great sex will always about the SIMPLE MOVES.
It
is the aggregate of simple things, done in the right way and at the
right time, that makes the world of difference. You have to drive that
one in your head. THERE ARE NO BIG TRICKS.
This is not about big
moves or magic techniques it’s about the snowballing of easy to do
maneuvers. The biggest lesson here is understanding that it’s the small
things that truly matter. It’s not about making extensive changes to
your game, but simply
tweaking it.
It’s learning to feel not
just with your hands, but with your fingertips. It’s being in-tune not
just for her screams, but even to her breathing. Not just about
writhing bodies but little twitches.
Great sex is simple,
(‘simple’ doesn’t mean ‘boring’), it’s not replete with shock-and-awe.
The road to sexual greatness is not some hidden mythic trick, for the
most elegant and effective moves have never been kept secret, they have
always been there.
They just have been overlooked... if not forgotten. Being unpretentious, they easily pass off as insignificant.
So
there you have it, The paradox of trying too hard, thinking too much
and simple moves. Remember these three concepts when making love next
time and you'll come across much more confident, sexy and natural.
Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the founder of Virtuoso Lover teaching men how to become exceptional lovers
