| Charlotte Church is Back! |
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Here, she reveals what's coming up in her new series, why an army life is not for her, and what ingredients make for a good night out in Cardiff. How much input do you have into the hidden camera stunts? It’s grown series by series. When I first started, I wasn’t really sure about the whole comedy thing, or anything to do with the writing and planning of the set-ups and stunts. I didn’t really know about any of that stuff, I was pretty green. I had a few ideas, but nothing substantial or reasonable. But by the second series I had a little bit more knowledge about what would work and what we could pull off. And in this series even more so. A good few months ago we had a couple of production meetings where everyone came up with a massive load of ideas, and we talked through each idea, and I chose which ones I liked and could see myself doing. Hopefully we’re going to put a few together in the next couple of weeks which were solely my idea, which I’m really excited about. Do you choose which guests to have on? I’m quite influential in that. I’m not too picky, like. I’m pretty much willing to talk to most people, but if don’t find them interesting, or I don’t think they’ve got anything that I want to hear about, then I don’t want them on. So we have a massive list of the people who are going to be in the UK during the series, and I just go “Yes, no, no, yes, great, oh can we try and get that person on.” But I am quite picky with my singers. I just want decent singers to be able to sing with. How have you found doing the acting in the sketches? Was that quite nerve-wracking? Not really. Stuff like the monologue at the start, and straight joke-telling, was much more scary. The sketches aren’t live TV, so you can do it again if you mess it up. I love doing the stuff where I’m dropped into films, so it looks like I’m playing opposite a Hollywood star. I think some of the script writing for that is just amazing. There’s one for this series where I’m dropped into a Jude Law film which is absolutely genius - I’m an Essex housewife and he’s supposed to be my friend on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. I love doing that, although I don’t consider myself an actress at all. We’ve got Catherine Tate coming on the show, and she’s amazing at characters and sketches. When I watch her, I realise I need to start working on getting some new accents. You’ve done something with the Welsh Guards for this series, haven’t you? Yeah. That was hard work! I had to infiltrate one of their final rehearsals for Trooping the Colour, and not get noticed. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. These boys have a few months training so their marching and movements are pretty much spot on, and to be fair, they are slick, they move as one. And then there was me. I had about two hours to try and learn the basic moves, of which there are a lot - shoulder arms and slope arms and quick march and loads of others. I was absolutely shitting myself by the time I got onto the square. I had a big bearskin on, and the full army gear and massive boots that weight half a tonne each. And they have steel things on the bottom, like tap shoes - a little bit feminine, but there you go. It’s basically like being on a pair of ice skates. I was knackered by the end. I was a move behind every time. Did you get away with it? Well, there were 540 guys on parade, but only one or two people knew I was there. We were fooling a lot of people. One of the more senior guys, who had no idea who I was, called me out of the ranks and made me quick march around, shouting “Stop being so sloppy, boy. Pull your socks up.” And I was so tired. It was really fun, though. I’d never do it again, but I’m glad I did it. And they gave me a plaque of the regimental flag - a colour, I think they call it - afterwards, which is now on my mantelpiece. Do you ever get rumbled in the hidden camera stuff? Not really, because I can talk myself out of any situation. But sometimes people can get a bit pissed off, and you have to talk them round, with lots of shoulder-touching. We did one thing the other day, with a driving instructor, where I was telling him what to do via an earpiece, and he was behaving really weirdly, and the girl in the lesson was freaked out by how weird he was being. She wasn’t cross, but was a little freaked out. She was a vegetarian, ands halfway through the lesson he reached into the back and produced a full roast dinner which he started eating. Do you ever draw the line at certain things because it’s too mean? Yeah, definitely. You’ve got to be careful about not offending people. And sometimes I just thing something might be going a little too far. I can have a little bit of a sick sense of humour, but normally my morality kicks in and usually wins the day. You’re also doing a hidden camera stunt where you’re providing the voice in a lift, aren’t you? Yeah, I did that a couple of days ago. That was really good fun. There’s so much you can do. Some of the older people in it are really cute. It’s really funny as well, because there was a mirror in there,. And it’s amazing how many people check themselves out, or squeeze a spot, or examine their moustaches or look at their arse. So it was funny before I’d even said anything, just what people do when they’re on their own in a lift. Who would be your ideal guests on the show? I always say Lee Evans, he’s brilliant. I wouldn’t want to interview him, though. I’d just get tongue-tied. I think he’s unbelievable. I’d like him just to do his stand-up set. I’d be happy just to watch that on my show. Preferably for the whole show. I’d also love to have Beyonce on, and Gordon Ramsay - he’s so cool. Who have been your favourites in the past? I love Davina McCall. I love her, she’s brilliant. She’s honest and she’s warm and she’s lovely, and she knows just what works and just what’s entertaining. Paul O’Grady I just love as well - he’s a ridiculously funny man. And musical guests? Jamelia was lovely, Nelly Furtado was great, I really liked her, and I love her music as well. And what about Amy Winehouse? Yeah, that was an experience is all I can say. She was just wild. The show’s moving to a Thursday night. Will that change the feel of it? No, not at all. It’s just moved because if it was going out on a Friday, because of Big Brother it would have to have gone out at 11pm, which I think is too late. But another good thing is that a lot of people who would watch the show, who are our target audience, are out on a Friday, down the pub having a drink. They might be in on a Thursday. You’re doing something called Lady to Ladette, training a group of posh girls to go out in Cardiff. What ingredients does a typical Cardiff night out involve? It’s genius. These poor girls, we put them through the mill. What are the ingredients? Well, I don’t like to advocate binge drinking, obviously! But it happens - those girls in Cardiff can drink. Me, mainly. A lot of alcohol, an outfit which looks really good at the start of the night, and will be in tatters at the end. A hell of a lot of dancing, with hair like you’ve just come out of the rain, because you’re so sweaty. Followed by a big-ass meal, whether it’s a steak, a doner kebab, or just some cheese and chips with garlic mayonnaise. Oh yeah, we know how to do it down in Cardiff. How did the posh girls cope? Wow, they were really posh. I don’t think I was ready for just how posh they were. The researchers really outdid themselves finding these girls. They were brilliant - they were really prime meat. But they absolutely loved it. Loved their night out. It features in three episodes of the series, and on the third one, the last three girls are there live in the studio, competing to win. It’ll be judged by me and two of my friends, like The Apprentice. Not that we’re ripping anyone off! But nobody judges on their own nowadays, do they? It was an absolute scream. You’ll see from the tapes that some of them did really well. Have you found someone that can drink you under the table? No, I’ve never found that. I probably never will. Maybe Gavin, but that’s it. You did have a bit of a reputation as a Ladette yourself, didn’t you? I don’t think I was ever that bad. I used to go out once a week, as most people do. But the press kept reissuing old photos and stuff. So it looked like I was always out, going nuts, and I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, when I went out, I would get absolutely steaming, and I still do. But when you grow up, you tend to get a bit better control of yourself. That hasn’t happened to me yet! But I was never that bad. I was working loads, I didn’t have the time. And I’m dreadful on a hangover, I can’t do anything at all. I just have to go to bed and eat shit. How are you enjoying being a mum, and how does it fit in with the show? I love it. I’ve got a ridiculously well-behaved baby, which really helps. She’s so good. She’s always slept through the night, from eight weeks. She’s made it an absolute doddle. It all came completely naturally to me. It’s been really great. In terms of work, I left it until I felt comfortable. I feel comfortable now, getting back into work, I feel ready. Ruby still comes everywhere with me. She’s here in London with me today. And either Gavin’s mum will come with me, or sometimes my mum will come up, so we’ve got a brilliant family support network that makes it really easy for me. Her first birthday can’t be too far away now. She’s nine months, so she’s got a little way to go yet. Have you got anything planned? She’ll be one, she doesn’t care! We’ll have a couple of friends round, perhaps, but she doesn’t care. She’ll be happy to spend it at home with the geese and chickens. The Charlotte Church Show is on Channel 4 on Thursdays at 10pm from July 10th. |
The Chat Show Queen is Back! Most first-time mums are doing well if they manage to make it out of the house occasionally in an outfit that's not covered in drool and sick.| < Prev | Next > |
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